I've spent well over thousands and thousands of dollars on Polaroid film over the past 6 years that I have been shooting. Never in my 6 years have I been so excited for one type of film. This is Artistic TZ film, made for SX-70's. The results are beautiful. Are you seeing these colors?! Seriously. Sometimes, I feel completely ridiculous that I invest so much of my time and money into Polaroids. But usually, I feel complete. This is what I absolutely love to do. It brings me joy that I cannot explain. Whether it be instant 600 film, 779, Image, or any of the pack film, I love it, I want to shoot it all the time, every day, of my family, friends, and travels.
I love photography, in general. But I am not a technical shooter. I have no formal knowledge of studio lighting or fancy equipment. It makes me feel incompetent sometimes when a photographer speaks to me about all the gear they have. My digital set up consists of a Nikon D70 that I bought off of Craigslist that has gone through hell, but I mean, I bought the body for $170. I probably wouldn't have been able to afford a DSLR, otherwise. I have 2 lenses. A kit lens from the Nikon N75 and a 1.8 50mm. Both are low end lenses.
I don't give a shit though, really. I've always enjoyed making the most out of what I have. Story of my life. The first couple of photos I got published in Alternative Press Magazine were shot with Nikon Coolpix 3700. Isn't that hilarious? I showed photos for my BFA show. Which is funny because I majored in Graphic Design and Multimedia. But anyways, the Polaroids I had up in my BFA Thesis show were all shot in Japan with a Colorpack II. Which is this goofy looking plastic toy camera. But I love those shots.
If I could afford it, I would buy nice equipment and learn how to use strobes, etc. There is so much room for me to grow in photography. I just wish I had the opportunity to become familiar with it. Because I know I can do it. I know I have the eye for it.
And as much as I love graphic design, I don't think anyone wants to hire me or take the time to invest in me for my design and illustration work. I guess I am not as confident in my skills as a designer, due to lack of experience. I also have little web skills, which doesn't help my case at all. Print design is dying, and employers are looking for an all-in-one designer. I don't know. Maybe I don't know enough people in the industry to find what I'm looking for. But that's also the case with photography work. Then again, most photography work requires that you have studio photography experience... Which basically means that I'm a fine artist. That really doesn't comfort me at all.
There has got to be something out there for me. God. Where is my perfect job?
I should just go to cosmetology school, do hair & makeup on shoots, and work my way into doing fashion photography that way. That is so backwards but I'm into hair & makeup. It would be ideal to do hair, makeup, and the photography all by myself. That would rule.
So many things running through my head at 4am. I pray to God that the best path be revealed to me.
